Have you ever told your child that he has to switch off the TV or Ipad in 5 mins but 5 mins later, he refuses to do so? Worse, he goes into a meltdown and throws a tantrum, screaming his lungs out?
How do you avoid such screen time tussle and help your child develop the ability to turn off the screen when it is time to do so?
Firstly, we need to understand that Time is an abstract concept and hard for children to understand. Coupled with that, young children are still poor at impulse control and executive function. What they want, they want it there and then. It is not easy to turn off the device when they are enjoying their programme.
However, it is important for children to learn self-control and limit their own screen time so that they engage in other healthy activities. This is an important time management skill so that down the road, children can learn to plan their time and complete the school tasks at hand.
Generally, children are only taught the concept of time when they are in school around 7 years old. For children of pre-school age (3-6), they struggle to comply with adults’ expectations of time limits because they have not yet developed the ability to ‘feel’ the passage of time. If children can experience what time feels like, they can be better managers of time and children as young as 3 years old can be trained in such executive function skills.
My 3-and-a-half-year-old M, doesn’t have a problem turning Cocomelon off when it is time to do so. How does she do it?
The simple method I use is the countdown timer. Don’t underestimate the humble countdown timer. Used well, it is an easy and motivating way to help children develop self-control and time management. I use an oven timer that costs only about $3 at local hardware stores. When the timer is set, M can see the dial slowly moving to zero. Even though M can’t read time, she understands the flow of time and knows that the timer will go off once it hits zero. The buzz of the timer is the signal that it is time to turn it off.
When we first started the training, we explained what the timer does and promise a reward when the buzzer rings and she stops the TV herself. We show her the power on/off button on the remote control to press. Initially, she was resistant and we would be the ones to cut off the TV for her. Over time, her self-control has improved tremendously. Now, M has no problem stopping her programme herself. Sometimes, she will ask if she can watch a bit more and I will tell her she can finish the episode she was through halfway. Turning the TV off at the buzz has become a game. Each time she turns off the TV herself, my husband and I clap and praise her, ‘well done M for turning the TV off yourself!’. Such praise strengthens her sense of achievement.
Praise motivates children to maintain the positive behaviour. With each positive reinforcement, the habit of sticking to the given screen time is strengthened.
I have 3 count-down timers at home and they are placed in different rooms. It is very useful not just for limiting the use of screen time but can also be applied to all tasks that children need to complete. When I say, we are leaving the house in 10mins, I set the timer so the kids can see the dial move and know how much time is left for them to get their water bottles, put on their socks etc. I can set them a challenge of packing all their toys in 10mins and see them take quick action to complete it while the timer ticks.
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Other Visual Timers
You could try other types of visual timers to make it more fun for kids. Some examples on the market include sand timers, disappearing colored dials, or three colored light towers. Children can ‘see’ their time disappear. However, they do not indicate how much time exactly passes.
I personally prefer visual timers where numbers are shown and the amount of time left is displayed because it can give children predictability about the end of the activity and a sense of urgency to complete their task.
For a timer with greater visual effect, you can try this 7.5 inch Time Timer that you can easily get from Amazon or Lazada.
Recomended by Autism and ADHD experts, it displays the passage of time with a disappearing coloured disk. Used as a time management tool in many special education schools, its large size and visual nature provides a great external cue to stay on task. It eases stressful transitions by showing ‘how much longer’. By pairing with a visual schedule, children keep track of the tasks they need to complete in a day more easily, boosting their independence and confidence
App Timers: are more suitable for older, school-going children (7 years and older) who already know how to use electronic devices. My 2 older kids know how to set the timer on the ipad. Online, there are also many free countdown apps, chore timers and game related timers that reward children for their efforts.
How to Implement Effectively
1. To implement the use of count-down timers well, it is important to set clear expectations and complement it with a routine. M knows she only gets 30mins of TV time after dinner everyday. This duration is about right for me as it gives her sufficient satisfaction. Also, most cartoon episodes are about 30mins long so it is much easier to switch off the TV at the end of the episode. Catching her favourite shows after dinner also motivates her to finish her food fast so that she can move on to an activity she enjoys.
2. Secondly, we must plan in advance what activities the child transits to next. It is unrealistic to expect young children to plan what to do with their time and use it meaningfully. There needs to be a routine so children knows what they will do next. There needs to be equally fun and engaging activities for them to do besides what is offered on the screen. Otherwise, is it any wonder that the electronic device is more attractive?
In my home, the art supplies and toys are right next to the TV, within eye sight. Typically, once M turns off the TV, she turns her attention to the art supplies and decides on the new artistic creation she will embark on that day. If she gets bored, she heads to the toys and chooses something to play with. I also switch out art materials and toys once in a while to keep the play experiences fresh for her. Half an hour before bedtime, I read stories to her. She loves stories and that helps to start the wind down routine. She knows that if she doesn’t finish packing and washing up by bedtime, stories get cut and that is enough to motivate her to stop playing.
For my older kids who use the ipad, they know how to set the count-down timer on the device and stop once time is up. Similarly, they need to have lots of books and activities they can easily access to keep boredom at bay.
3. Set aside family bonding and interaction time. We cannot expect little children to occupy themselves for long. Even with the best toys, children crave human interaction and social activities. Very often, M wants me to draw together with her. She wants me to play dolls with her. If there is work to be done, I tell M to give me 15mins to complete my work and after that, I will play with her. Sometimes I use the timer on myself to show her that I will keep my promise. Having siblings is a huge blessing because they serve as playmates. When my children are playing Lego together, I can get a longer stretch of work time.
All in all, children can exercise self-control with screen usage when we explain the rationale and set clear expectations. Try a visual timer if you have not done so yet.
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